


i am the light (blinking at the end of the road)

by zanthequeer



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 11:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1981365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanthequeer/pseuds/zanthequeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I'm in love with you.” You laugh when you say it, like it's a joke.</p>
<p>And you know, the way you're feeling right now, maybe it is. Maybe its the best joke you've ever heard because she's the Evil Queen and you're the White Knight and you shouldn't be in love with her and you shouldn't feel this way about her but you do and now you're fucked because she knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i am the light (blinking at the end of the road)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I've been working on for a while. Enjoy!

“I'm in love with you.” You laugh when you say it, like it's a joke.

And you know, the way you're feeling right now, maybe it is. Maybe its the best joke you've ever heard because she's the Evil Queen and you're the White Knight and you shouldn't be in love with her and you shouldn't feel this way about her but you do and now you're fucked because she knows.

She knew before you even told her but this is the first time you've ever said it out loud and you're not supposed to say things like that to the mother of your child. Hell, you're not supposed to say things like that to anyone you're not even dating.

You take a chance of looking up at her face and your heart falls instantly because you know she loves you – that's _so _obvious – but you also know she _can't _. She can't love you because she's with someone else and she's happy and he's happy and they're happy together and you're not in that equation of happiness.____

__So before she says anything you shake your head and let out another sick sounding laugh. It's sadistic, really, how you let yourself fall for someone like her. Someone who tried to kill your parents on multiple occasions and even tried to kill you a few times as well. Someone taken. Someone you _hate _._ _ __

__She looks taken back by your laugh and she should be. Maybe then she won't think you're literally falling apart on the inside. She looks like she want's to say something so badly, but for the first time since you've known her, she's speechless. You look down at your boots and shake your head again._ _

__“Just forget about it, okay? Not important.” And with that you turn on your heel and walk out, not letting the first tear fall until you're in your car and safely drive away._ _

__Before you shut her front door you hear her voice, sounding smaller than ever, saying your name to call you back, but you pretend you didn't hear and walk faster to your car. It's when you drive away that you wonder when you let yourself get so attached._ _

__–_ _

__You're sitting in your office, trying to drown yourself in paperwork and maybe a little bit of alcohol. It's not like you're going to be driving anywhere anyways, so might as well put that bottle of jack you hide in your desk drawer to good use._ _

__So you lean back and close your eyes for a moment, trying to get the dull thudding in your head to stop, when you hear the click of heels walking down the hall and instantly you know who it is. For a moment you consider hiding under the desk or in the closet and waiting until she leaves but the door sings open before you can even get up from your desk._ _

__She walks over to your desk with those 5-inch “fuck me” heels that you love and sits down in the chair in front of you. You take your feet off the desk and put the bottle back in the bottom drawer of your desk._ _

__You rub your face once and sigh. “What do you want, Regina?” You ask. Really, you're not in the mood to be fucked with right now, and seeing her just makes getting over her a hell of a lot harder._ _

__“I was coming to go over the monthly report but obviously you're a little preoccupied.” She eyes the glass cup filled with amber liquid that sits on your desk._ _

__“Yeah, I am a little preoccupied. I have a shit-ton of paperwork I need to get done. If we could go over it tomorrow that'd be great.” Maybe then you wouldn't have a few glasses of alcohol in your system and could actually think straight around her for once._ _

__“As you wish, Sheriff Swan.” You excepted her to put up more of a fight, but surprisingly she doesn't. You're kind of thankful she doesn't; You didn't really want to have to go through this today._ _

__When she get's up you rise out of your chair with her and walk over to the closet to grab another package of pens because there are none on your desk and you remind yourself to kill August when he comes in for work later. The click of her heels stop about halfway down the hallway and they start back towards your office. You just barely resist slamming your face against the filing cabinet next to you._ _

__She walks back into your office and over to you and before you know what's happening, you're being pushed against said filing cabinet and a pair of lips connect with yours. Her mouth tastes like that cinnamon gum and something completely _Regina _and it mixes with the taste of alcohol left over from your drink._ _ __

__She pulls away far to quickly for your liking and right before she get's to the door she turns around. “And Miss Swan?” Your head snaps up and you think you see her lips twitch but you can't be sure. “I love you too.” And she says it like she just told you what the weather was supposed to be like this week._ _

__You thought when you heard her say it you would be a lot happier but now you just feel like someone kicked you in the stomach and then ran over your dog._ _

__–_ _

__You hear the new first from Mary-Margret that morning, then from Ruby at the Diner. When August and Leroy walk into work later, they tell you the same thing._ _

__Robin Hood and the Evil Queen broke up._ _

__Leroy makes a joke about how he probably moved out because she never gave him any, which made August suggest it was because she was always a hard-ass about literally everything._ _

__By the time lunch comes around you're about ready to cut off your entire leg to keep it from bouncing. Leroy and August leave to go to Granny's – and they invite you, like always – but you decline and get in your car and drive towards 108 Mifflin Street._ _

__She knew you were coming – to be honest, you're pretty predictable – so you don't even get a chance to knock before she swings the door open. Your hand is stuck in mid-air before you stuff it into the pockets on your coat. You suddenly lost all of the nerve you got on the drive here._ _

__“Did you need something, Miss Swan?” She asks._ _

__“You can call me Emma, you know.” You don't know why you said it or why it was the first thing to come to mind, but it catches her off guard and she raises a perfect eyebrow in response._ _

__“Did you need something or are you just going to stand out in the cold?” She asks after a moment, sounding irritated. Usually it would make you slink away with your tail between your legs like a kicked dog, but right now you're looking into her eyes and you can see everything she's trying not to say and it just makes you want her more._ _

__You open your mouth to answer but before you can get a word out, she turned on her heel and walked into the kitchen, leaving the door open. You take it as an invitation to follow her in and close the door behind you, slipping off your boots and hanging your coat up before you walk the way she did a few moments ago._ _

__You find her at the stove, stirring something in a large pot. You lean against the counter and watch her back. “Listen, about last week-” She cuts you off with a swift turn from the stove and cuts you in half with a glare._ _

__Not literally, but if she could you're completely positive you'd be in pieces by now._ _

__“What about last week, Miss Swan?” She snaps._ _

__“Well, I mean, you said something t-that-” This woman won't let you finish a sentence to save your life._ _

__“Said what?” She knew exactly what you were talking about – that much was evident in her face._ _

__“You kind of said you love me too and I mean that's great and all, but I didn't mean to ruin your relationship with Robin.” You scratch the back of your neck and look down._ _

__“You didn't ruin my relationship with Robin; I did.” She says and turns back to the stove, turning down the heat. She sighs and walks over to the fridge, pulling out some ingredients to put in the pot. “Is there anything else you need, Miss Swan?” Regina asked, sounding annoyed at your presence in her kitchen._ _

__“You know you're allowed to act like you can at least tolerate me.” You point out, smirking at the older woman's back._ _

__“Just because I love you, Miss Swan, does not mean I don't loathe your presence.”_ _

__“Ouch. That stung.” You reply easily, walking over to the stove and peeking in the pot. “What are you making?”_ _

__“If you must know, chicken noodle soup. Henry has a cold and this is his favorite meal when he's sick.” She says, slapping away your hand when you try to dip your finger in to taste. “I would appreciate it if you could keep your hands out of my cooking.”_ _

__After a moment of silence you look up, smiling. “So. You love me, huh?” It's not so much that you're not sure, you just like to hear her say it._ _

__“Yes, Miss Swan. I suppose I do love you.” She turns to face you, her eyes darting down to your lips for barely a second, and if you weren't watching you probably wouldn't have noticed._ _

__You step into her personal space, pressing your bodies together and look into her eyes. You don't remember who leaned in first, but before you knew it she had her hands in your hair and you were being pressed into the counter._ _

__You disconnect your lips and lean forward to whisper in her ear. “I love you too.”_ _


End file.
